It's Composition and Short Film Time!

Good evening ladies and gentleman. I apologize for the lack of posts, but I've been far too busy to press buttons on my scanner. Besides being in an alcohol induced coma and almost dying (and suffering the horrors of a catheter) one of the main causes of my lack of time is that I've been hard at work on a short film to submit to a reality show called "On the Lot," produced by old Stevey Spielberg himself. It's kinda like an "American Idol" for short movies and if your film is judged well, you can go onto the next round, and possibly become a contestant on the show.

Well our submission, directed by yours truly, and starring Dave Hvizdos and myself with Gavin Martens-Carpenter (people most of you don't know!) was made over a period of four days in the beautiful and historic Fort Macleod, Alberta, in miserable frigid weather with countless hardships, drunken Aboriginals and evil Chinese men who own hotels and keep threatening us with untold miseries if we let any girls up there and there's any "hanky panky shit."

Watch in astonishment as your senses are molested by a relentless barrage of awesome. This movie has it all, romance, intrigue, drama, murder, transvestites, guns, cute little kids, gangsters, angry dads, old suits and a show stopping Peter Lorre impression by ME!!! YEAH!

This is the full length uncut version of the film noir spectacle, complete with illegal music and extra fun. The contest has a time limit of five minutes, so since we had unknowingly filmed WAY too much, we had to trim four minutes off of the original. Here it is in it's untainted pure virginal form, but please go to the website: http://films.thelot.com/films/18045 and rate the five minute version accordingly.

Also, on the drawing end of things, here's me practicing my composition and color theories, thanks to the bloggy guidance of the incredible Mr. K. I'm quite happy with the first one (it was actually the latest one I drew, but I posted it first for extra punchiness) and have mixed feelings about the other two.

LEAVE ME COMMENTS!!!

Bruce Meat Animation

I made this animation over five and a half long bloody hours. I tried desperately to incorporate all of the animation rules I've been absorbing over the past number of months. I've tried to consistently utilize Line of Action, Form, Clear Silohettes, Strong Poses, Anticipation, Stretch and Squash, and some sense of timing. It's mildly choppy because it's only animated at eight frames per second, and done with a digital camera.

Lusty Improvements!

Ladies beware! Gratuitous idealization of females below! Hide the feminists!

Holy moses! Another post after only two months! Heaven forbid! Hopefully somebody checks in here and I haven't lost all of my beloved fans. Anyway, I've finally improved to a mild degree in my bodacious buxom lady drawings...it's about bloody time.

My best buxom babe to date:

Sha-zing!

The first one (below) took me three horrendous hours to draw and the face is still completely bullocks (angle and construction completely wrong) but I couldnt erase anymore or else the head-area would simply be a big grey blob. I'm rather impressed with the body though (wink wink, nudge nudge).

The second one took me about three hours for the drawing itself (again, the face is pretty crappy) and another couple of hours to color. I'm quite impressed with the bodies, but the faces are quite mediocre. These have been copied shamelessly from old pinup girlies painted by Gil Elvgren, the undisputed master of buxom babes. I shant post the originals lest mine shrivel in compare. The sketch itself was hell to draw, seeing as I was constantly changing angles and curves and making her "less muscular" and such.

As you may very well be able to tell, the colored version (top of post!) is quite different from the sketch, her legs being less "buff" and more shapely and the squirrel cheek has (hopefully) been lessened.

Eventually I hope to get to the point where I can break down such stereotypically beautiful gals into a workable formula and, in theory, be able to draw them relatively fast (not three hours+ per drawing). I'm on my way though, thanks to old fashioned naughtiness and my "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way" book by Stan Lee and John Buscema. Once I get some legitimate theories, I'll post 'em and share my secrets with mankind.

Tell me what sucks (and hopefully what's good)!

Who's On First?

You know you want it. I know everyone out there in internet-land lays awake at night thinking to themselves, "If only I could see that charming Josh fellow and his pal Dave do a classic comedy routine, all my secret fantasies would come true!!!"

Well, the wait is over, and I'm here to fufill your most forbidden desires! That's right, a crappy video of Josh "Space Slayer" Heisie and Dave "TurboRage" Hvizdos doing "Who's On First?" at a Vaudeville show to the delight of MILLIONS! Worship our fine comedic timing and snappy attire!

Old Men and a Ruffian!

Jiminy. Sorry for taking so long for another post...hopefully someone still looks at this place.

Anyways, yesterday, in a fevered fit of inspiration, I, for no real reason, began drawing some sixties-era old men. I wasn't trying to draw anyone in particular, just trying to emcompass a certain generation of middle-to-old-aged men. These decent, God-fearing men are just at the end of the farming-and-hard-work age and just at the beginning of the technological age. They don't like new ideas, hippies, foreigners and computers, and remember back in the day where you could go to the cafe after a long days work and get a coffee and a piece of lemon pie for two bits. I hope these pictures get the point across.

I'm really pleased with the top drawing, and the cowboy-liking old guy, and the rest I think turned out alright. Tell me what you filthy lazy kids think!

BONUS FUN! Here's a randomized thug I drew this morning.Leave me comments or DIE.

Awards O' Fun!!! (part four of four)

Here the last of my incredible spoil-your-new-suit-esque Sole Survivor Awards. I was really happy with the "lusty lady" and the filthy rapscallions behind her when it was all sketched out, but I'm not very happy with the shading, and the squirrels could have been alot funnier. I think this drawing is a victim of that horrible disease known as "over-shading" (even though my last drawing has a lot more shading, it just doesnt suck).

Anyways, I still think it's pretty funny, what does everyone in internet-land think?

Keep checking in for more amazing crap!

Awards o' Fun!! (part three of four)

Well I'm running horrendously past my deadline, but here is my next installment of the "Sole Survivor" awards. My original idea for this award (the hillbilly guy, there, running away from an angry bear), which I had all sketched out and ready to finish, made me very irate, as I found it to be boring and uninspired. So, I decided, although it made me fall far behind, because I'm already a week late with these as is, I made this new, exciting doom filled picture that I am much more proud of.

I think this is my favorite of the three I've done so far...The background was ridiculously crowded, so I really had to work at it to give the picture some "depth" and make it not look cluttered and crappy. I think I succeeded because now all the ladies are tearing at my clothes and shouting "Ooh Josh, ravage me!"

Whaddaya'll think? Leave me comments with insults or compliments or just to say "Ravage me too!" And yes, I mean YOU, if you're reading this, gimme a comment or I'll eat your babies.

Stay tuned for a naughty lady running away from lusting sailors and hillbillies!

PS: Can anyone tell me how to make it so you can click on these pictures to make them bigger? I thought it was just supposed to happen automatically...